I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize