Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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