I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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