I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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