Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize