Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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