Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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