the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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