this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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