I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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