just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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