My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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