I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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