my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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