Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
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EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
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High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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