I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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