I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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