My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize