When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize