it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize