Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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