wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I am mentally ready for anal.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize