it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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