im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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