Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize