Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize