Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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