is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
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Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
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She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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