I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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