I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I faked an abortion last night.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Randomize