Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Are we still banned from the library?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize