You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Actions speak louder than pants.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
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I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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