Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize