My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize