Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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