Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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