birth control should be required to get into college
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize