She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
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my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
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It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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