worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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