you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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