You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
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everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
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most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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