i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
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You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
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They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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