Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
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You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
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TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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