TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he was CRYING into my vagina
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize