I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
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i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
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And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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