your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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