Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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