i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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