i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
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I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize