I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
foreskin is a definite game changer
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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